I wanted to address something that I brought up last week, that I gave a lot of thought about, and felt the need to share in this space,
The title of this blog is MooreHappyVibes, and I had to think really hard about what my purpose was in giving my blog such a weighty title, I mean let's be honest, what does that actually mean? Am I here generating happiness, does that mean I cannot share my sorrows?? & then I thought to myself, I ABSOLUTELY CAN, because that is EXACTLY what this space is for, to share these sad and fucked up thoughts I have so that I can let you realize how RELATABLE we all are. How REAL this is, how CERTAIN I AM that HAPPINESS IS NOT ALWAYS A GUARANTEE. That Happiness is the by product of inner joy/peace, and SOMETIMES we have to WORK HARD to get back to a space when we feel at PEACE and that SOMETIMES life will give us these challenges so that when those MOOREHAPPYVIBES come along, we will have so much appreciation for them, they will be like light beams shooting out of our face after a bout of darkness. THIS is my purpose, and it's okay to FORGET and it's okay to GET LOST, and it's okay TO CRY, and it's okay to BE SAD FOR A WHILE and IT's OKAY, IT'S OKAY, IT's OKAY--- I cannot stress this enough, it is OKAY TO FEEL ANYTHING THAT YOU ARE FEELING BC FEELINGS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO FLOW THROUGH YOU LIKE A RIVER AND THAT IS A PART OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
Just remember to feed your soul too, because, and I LOVE to live by this quote " We are just spiritual beings living a human experience"
We are often not our thoughts, we are not the noise we hear in our head. Sometimes if we slow down enough to take the time to listen to the breath, we will remember what is important to us. We will remember who we are, who we ACTUALLY are, not just who we describe ourselves to be, but who we are to our core, our SPIRIT.
The sad part about my mean brain is that often times it tricks me into believing I am a burden to these people that love me so, and that is just not the truth, that part of my brain is liar and wants me to lose in life, and I wish I could tell you why, but now all of the sudden at near 33 years of life, the cartoons with the devil && the angel sitting on either side of the shoulder finally do make perfect sense. It is a battle that won't ever truly end, not for me at least. For every positive thought I have, there is always a negative one that tries to take away from the goodness of that feeling that overcomes me when I say to myself "this is good". One thing that will also not end on my part though, is that though there is that one negative thought for every 1 positive, I will NEVER give up on working towards turning those negatives into positives. Do you have that same thing happen to you? If so, just remember you are NOT ALONE, and you never will be, there is almost certain to be someone in the world who is experiencing something very similar to you.
I am just now about 50% through the wall I hit. I can just about see over the top of the part I've chipped away, some sunlight is coming through and I'm beginning to feel warmth from the rays. This too shall pass, something I often forget, when it's literally repeated itself several times in my life.
Keep going my friends, keep working, keep chipping away, this too shall pass. The light will hit you soon. From the other side of the remainder of the wall,
Until next time,
xoxo Mishako
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