I have been writing a lot more frequently now. It's almost as if this loss has given me my "voice" back.
I think mainly bc it is such a heavy loss and it just truly changed the way I view the world. It makes me realize how short life is and how I should really be throwing myself into my passions, even if they don't make me a lot of money. (Or any money at that lol)
I also really DO NOT GIVE AS MANY FUCKS AS I USED TO. I have become closer to my father in the way of the "duck" as he used to say he was like, bc he just let things roll off of his back like water on a duck. We all should learn how to be ducks. Not the kind that are sitting ducks tho, then we might get shot.
I remember when I started writing this blog, I thought I would be talking about my dating stories, I go back and read them now and I think it's funny to see how much I've grown.
Far from perfect but no longer bitter or full of sadness over things that are no longer meant for me. Especially now, I don't want to waste time. It's what's meant to be now.
I decided to shift my focus to sharing about overall mental, physical, and spiritual wellness and learning how to navigate life through all of its ups and downs. I'm glad I took that turn in my writing, but again, I love going back to my past writings and re-reading them. Sometimes the old me, inspires the me of today; and sometimes she shows me how much I've grown.
I had a really good weekend. I laughed, A LOT. I got to spend so much time with so many people that I love and who loved my father. It was very bitter sweet, but I had the opportunity to talk about him all weekend and I could feel him with me everywhere I went. And someone people who didn't even get to know my father, but know a little of the kind of person he was by being with me.
I don't think I will ever stop talking about him. I asked someone this weekend if that was okay, she said "absolutely, he was your daddy, you talk about him as much as you want to, and if people around you don't get that... then to hell with them" I really liked that response.
That is all.
Until next time
xoxo
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