Happy Sunday,
Happy blog day! :) I asked for feedback and got responses about topics for the blog and someone asked me to touch on how I push past my insecurities and remain confident.
I first want to say thank you for even suggesting a topic. I didn’t get much feedback and sometimes it makes me feel discouraged about my writing, which is perfect for this topic, bc I’m sincerely honored that anyone would want that kind of advice from me, and that I am seemingly put together enough for this topic to be suggested.
I am not 100% confident all the time. I have just learned not to be so damn hard on myself all the time, and trust me, it’s still a struggle. I am a work in progress and I will never stop working, growing, evolving as long as I still have the capability to do so.
I know I haven’t ever elaborated on my sober story, and I will do that one day, but a huge part of that journey has been learning to love myself, all of me, even the not so great parts of myself, the impatient girl, the worrier, the future tripper, the obsessive , the over thinker, the one who feels ugly, not good enough, doesn’t measure up, and knowing and facing the not so great parts help me to realize that it’s okay to have them, and it’s okay to not be perfect and it’s okay to let the not so good parts win sometimes as long as we come back to the parts that make us feel good about who we are 90% of the time: the loving, compassionate, inspiring, motivating, happy, carefree, joyous, empathetic, understanding, open minded, and honest person.
These are a few things I do to flush out all of my negative energy, that help to create a positive perspective and boost my confidence:
Change people, places, and things. If there are people in your life who are bringing you down, making fun of you, not supporting your dreams, or maybe you just don’t like them... then adiós. I promise you, you’ll thank yourself later for this one. Wasting time with people who break you down instead of build you up isn’t the stairway to accomplishing your dreams.
Do something for yourself that makes you feel good. Thought about starting that 5 am workout?? Do it! Wanna starting journaling? Do it! Wanna attend that counseling session? Do it ! Do things that produce happiness and bring about harmony in your spirit, inner peace = outer peace. Working out has been paramount for me in the mental health department. I’m my best and happiest version of me when I’m working on myself physically, mentally and emotionally.
Make a gratitude list. If you’re going through some tough times, or just need a reminder that you still have so much to be grateful for and need a little boost , write a list of all of the things you are grateful for. Do this as many times a week/ month/ year that you need to. It’s also cool to see how your gratitude list evolves over time.
Identify your problem areas and work on them. This requires TRUE self-reflection. This can be the step that separates the winners from the half-assers bc it’s SO easy to point out flaws In other people, but when it comes to looking in the mirror, it’s near impossible for most to do. I will give you an example of some things I’m currently very mindful of and trying to work on: being more present, I often times find myself in the presence of good company, but not fully paying attention, So I’m working on this, by catching myself and redirecting my focus, I even apologize and say I’m sorry can you repeat that for me I spaced out, if I miss what someone is saying, that’s embarrassing so it helps condition me to do it less often. I’m also working on my future tripping, especially in relationships, I like to worry about things that haven’t even happened yet, and that not only stresses me out, but it stresses everyone out around me. I like to take deep breaths and refocus when I begin to do this, and I also don’t mind being called out.
Have friends/family call you on your bs and hold you accountable to yourself.
The next one I want to share is about perfection. I want you to pretend perfection is a mirror, and I want you to place that mirror in front of you, I then want you to write all the ways in which you wish you could be “perfect”. Then I want you to look at that mirror and your idealism about perfection and I want you to SMASH IT. Break it right now and leave it in pieces on the floor. You are not and never will be perfect here on this earth, in fact you are better you are perfect in your imperfections, just as God made you. This. Is. Hard. With the way of the world now , the images we see on social media and on tv make us feel like we have to be perfect, but as a good friend once told me a long time ago: “I think sometimes you feel the need to be perfect, but let me tell you, thinking you can achieve perfection is foolish at best and destructive at worst”
Don’t be too damn hard on yourself, this one is something I still struggle with. Look, I get it, we all make mistakes, nobody is perfect, we all have those moments where we act too quickly, and say and do things out of aggravation, anger, pain, but when you recognize that it means you are capable of growth, and NOBODY is perfect, none of us get out of here without screwing up every once and a while, myself Included.
Keep going, don’t give up, don’t let one let down, obstacle, mishap, slow you down and get in the way of you doing what is best for yourself.
Be kind, be kind, be kind, the way you treat people manifests on your spirit, if you want a happy life, being kind, even when you don’t necessarily feel like it bc you’re feeling selfish, you should do do it anyways. There’s always someone out there hurting more than you, and you never know how powerful a simple, yet meaningful conversation may be in someone else’s life. So always remember that when you’re out doing your thing. And remember to be kind to yourself too.. I have a really hard time being kind to myself, I often have a negative narrative overpowering a positive one when I’m not doing the things I need to do to make myself feel good and rádiate that positive energy, but it’s important to flush those toxic thoughts out of our heads so we can live our lives in our rose tinted shades.
Think less, do more. I heard someone say once “My head is a dangerous place, if I stay in there for too long, I’ll end up getting mugged”. We think before we act, and people who tend to spend too much time in their heads end up complacent bc they’re thinking too much and not creating an action plan. Remember Action walks and bull shit talks.
Those are just a few words of advice I have on the topic of learning to love yourself. Take what you need and leave the rest behind. Remember there is nobody in this world who knows you better than you do yourself.
If you feel like you have insecurities you need to work on, I would start by writing a list of your assets and your fears.
Assets: loving, good friend, understanding
Fears: commitment, abandonment , the dark
And then try to figure out the root of these fears, knowing ourselves paves a path understanding ourselves and coming to a place of peace with who we are, and like I said up there 👆, no one will understand you better than you do yourself.
I hope this helps someone, even if just one person, to me that Is worth everything in the end.
All My love 😍
Xoxo Mishako
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